i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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