peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
