i think my tv is drunk
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
well you can't waste a boner
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
