hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
