I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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