He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
