The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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