I heard we made out
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Randomize
