At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
