Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it's not cheating when I paid for it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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