hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
