and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
