There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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