Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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