then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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