you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
