3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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