She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
