so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
