It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
