It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
