Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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