She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
