Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
