What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
