All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
