whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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