you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
