Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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