Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
