bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
