i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
