Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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