Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think my moral compass just broke
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
