If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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