Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
