I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
