new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
