He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
