Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just puked most of my soul out..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
