I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
