so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
