hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
