I accidentally had phone sex last night
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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