Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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