so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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