my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
