Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
