Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
