I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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